Just Jan

As school teachers know from experience, “words” inflict a lot of pain on children as they are growing up. But I’m not saying anything you don’t know. Chances are. you can remember a time when you were teased. My grandsons use the term ‘trash talking‘ a lot. Some of it is in fun with friends, but sometimes it just plain hurts.

Yesterday at school, my youngest grandson lost it with a classmate that daily “trashes him”. He is small for his age, but a very determined and talented athlete in all sports. They were playing football at recess when the daily trash talking started from the same youngster. This time my grandson lost it. He pushed him and put his hand on the boy’s throat. Then he quickly pulled it away. Now he is going to suffer the consequences . Settling a score with your fists is now considered assault. I’m not saying what he did was right at all. He has to learn control no matter how hurtful the words are. But verbal assault has to have consequences as well.

How many times have you quoted this little rhyme?

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But names will never hurt me. …

I am certain we can all testify to that little verse as untrue. And the falseness of the statement is backed up by psychologists at Harvard University –and generally every mental health professional.

We all carry around with us some memory of something we were teased about growing up. Maybe we laughed it off, or maybe it still pops up our head from time to time –that little voice letting us know–in some way we did not measure up!

Teasing doesn’t just belong to children. Adults are guilty as well. Sometimes teasing is truly all in fun and gives us something to laugh about with our friends. One thing stands out–teasing about positive attributes rather than negative ones is much better. Never tease a person about something that brought them shame. That’s not teasing–it’s torture. The purpose of fun teasing is to laugh together–not to cause hurt and embarrassment. And it doesn’t win friends.

‘Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.” Proverbs 15:4 (The Message)

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips,” Psalms 141:3

“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil song the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” James 3:4

And as Thumper is reminded by his mother in the Disney movie, Bambi—

“If you can’t say something nice to someone, say nothing at all.”